In a world where we can choose to be anything, I choose to be Nothing. Sounds kind of strange, huh? Who in their right mind would aspire to be nothing? With this being my first blog “column” – as my husband calls it- I would like to lay a solid foundation of how my blog “columns” will read and what beliefs it will be based around.
Now, for starters I will tell all the things that I have accomplished in this life. I am 35 years old. I am married to the man who stole my heart at the ripe young age of 16, or maybe I stole his. This year we will celebrate 13 years of marriage together. We share 3 daughters; I gained a bonus daughter when we married, and then 2 came after marriage. I have a Bachelor’s in Nursing, and I currently work with a Home Health Agency as a Care Transition Coordinator. My parents are some of my biggest cheerleaders, and were blessed with 3 of us. I have an older sister and a younger brother. For a short introduction of myself, that should do for now.
So back to my statement above, “I choose to be nothing!” This is how I see things; Nothing that I am, nothing that I have accomplished, or nothing that I have acquired has ever been of my own strength. I believe whole-hearted that everything that I have been blessed with is simply nothing more than a blessing from God.
As previously mentioned, I am a nurse. There is no way one can learn about the human body and not question God’s existence. How our lungs fill up with oxygen and then the exchange of gases there. Sending pure oxygenated blood to our hearts to pump blood to every fiber of our being- blood flowing through our bodies every second fueling our cells with life- all the while, we are just hanging out. There is no thought process to these miraculous actions that take place in our bodies every moment of every day. To say that a higher power is not responsible for all of this is incomprehensible to me. There is absolutely NO way we could have control or the power to do such great and mighty things.
In nursing school – after 2 prior career choices had failed- I cannot think of one test that I didn’t pray over before I attempted it. After graduation, my prayers shifted from the test that I had taken on paper to the tests that were presenting themselves right before my eyes in the presence of patients now – Standing at the bedside of an expectant mother about to give birth, singing to a sick, hurt, or scared child; to an elderly patient taking their last breath- I can remember whispering a little prayer in every situation. Praying for them and praying for myself as well. Losing myself of me, and doing His will.
As a bonus mother/mother, there were moments when all I could do was pray, because every time I tried to touch a situation, it would collapse right before my eyes. Parenting does not come with a manual per say. But there is a book that can guide our hearts that in turn can help us all become better parents.
Over my life I have witnessed things, and I have been in positions, that there were no other logical explanations other than the grace, mercy, and favor of God over those situations and experiences. When all human efforts fail, His love never did.
As a human, I fail every day. When I try to take on everything myself- I fail. When I ask God to lead me, for Him to guide me- I find myself thriving. So therefore, I choose to be nothing. I choose to try and rid myself of me and all my selfish ways. I choose to let Him fill me. I choose to let Him to be my guider. I choose to let His light shine through me. I choose to be nothing, so that He can be everything.