If you know anything at all about me and my love for certain things- these 3 things pop into your mind- you know that I love to roll tape (yep, that’s the weird one), I love music (especially live music), and I have an endless love for Nicholas Sparks. His writings and movies are the pivotal highlight to many of my nightly and weekend Fire-stick binges. I’m pretty sure because of his strong influence in my life, I have some very unrealistic expectations when it comes to love and life. None-the-less, Rachel Hollis (author of “Girl, Wash your face!”) tells me that no dream I have is too big or unobtainable, so therefore I will continue to believe that all relationships are as Nicholas Sparks depicts them to be are possible.
I have too many favorite quotes from his books/movies. But to name just a few
“I don’t know that love changes. People change. Circumstances change.”
– Nicholas Sparks
“I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..”
– Nicholas Sparks
“Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that.”
– Nicholas Sparks
“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever”
– Nicholas Sparks
“True love is rare, and it’s the only thing that gives life real meaning.”
– Nicholas Sparks
“I finally understood what true love meant… love meant that you care for another person’s happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.”
– Nicholas Sparks
“Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn’t make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more.”
– Nicholas Sparks
“Every path you take leads to another choice. Some choices can change everything. Every damn moment of the rest of your life hangs on it.”
– Nicholas Sparks
As you can see my love for his work runs pretty deep. These just scratch the surface. I believe that Nicholas Sparks can put feelings and the small, most indescribable moments into words and have you weepingly begging for more.
As I watched one of his movies for the 99th time a few weeks ago, a quote stuck out to me like never before. In the movie “The Choice” there’s a part where Travis and his (ex, current, ex girlfriend- y’all know how that goes) Monica we’re swinging on the front porch. She’d come to the realization that Travis’s heart was no longer invested in her, but in Gabby. Her next statement knocked me aback, even though I had heard it many times before. She turned and looked at Travis and said, “Thats all any woman wants… a man who will fight for her.”
Although, I had watched this movie a few times, I couldn’t help but to find myself gasping for air after this statement. As if I had never heard it before. Maybe I had heard it before, but it never really penetrated my soul. I immediately turned to Shawn who was watching the movie with me and said, “that is so true!”
As I thought about that comment over and over in my head, I couldn’t help but to think of how much weight that one small quote held. I broke it down and rolled it around some more and this is what I got from that one little quote.
Many women, myself included, started out as a young girl needing affirmation from our fathers, grandfathers, brothers, or any other male figures in our lives who held a significant title. There is a void that I believe most females are born with that can only be filled by a male. I am not saying that every woman needs a male to make her feel significant or she should be with or by someone just to fill a void. I am saying that we can only love ourselves so much and then there’s a certain validation that we need from many different people in our lives to become truly complete.
When googling the word fight, the first definition that pops up is- “a violent struggle involving the exchange of physical blows or the use of weapons”. That’s not the “fight” that I believe was intended in this comment. As you scroll down a little there’s a definition that reads “endeavor vigorously to win”. Now, that’s the “Fight” that I am speaking of.
I’m not sure that I have ever come across a female who didn’t want to be fought for. I don’t mean fought over by two or more people or to fight with (picking an argument about all the things she doesn’t do right)- I am talking about being fought for!
When a woman is fought for, every aspect of herself is embraced by the person who is fighting for her. The good, the bad, the ugly… all the parts that make her spirit, soul, and heart just the way it is- is longed for. When embraced she is able to grow and achieve much more than ever before. She is fought for by someone who loves her endlessly. Who sees her for all she is and all she is yet to become.
A woman can self persevere for so long. She can be her own strength and fight for herself. Then comes the moment- the moment, when she just can’t. All of her strength has been exhausted and she needs to be uplifted and reassured by the ones who love her. This is when the fight ensues.
She forgets who she is. She forgets what her purpose is. She forgets where her passion lies. It is then that she needs to be fought for. She needs to be reminded who she is. She needs to be reminded what her purpose is. She needs to be reminded where her passions lie. This is when she needs to be fought for.
Only a man who is confident in himself could reassure a woman of such things. Only he could look at this woman and recognize her as a slow dying plant in a beautiful garden and be able to nurture her back to life. By adding “water” and “fertilizer” to her very existence, he’s fighting for her to restore her to the very best version of herself.
I’ve never met a woman who didn’t seem to bloom at one point or another by the mere enhancement of being fought for. When they are nourished properly, all the beautiful parts of their souls seem to blossom. Even parts that they even know existed- they all come to life when being fought for.
When I first began this blog, it was mainly about men fighting for women. After several hours of writing without feeling like the content was complete, I spoke with a close male in my life. He made comments as to being grateful to me for representing my husband in such an uplifting fashion on social media (disclaimer- I will NEVER post anything that I honestly do not feel deep within my soul!!) He talked about how many women on social media talk about how men should “do this” or if they only “done that!” He stated, “I really appreciate how you post about Shawn and how good he is to you! Most of the posts you see women making about men on social media is about, ‘I wish a man…’ or… ‘if a man would- I would..’- those are the post I mostly see on social media.” I was a little bun-fuddled by this statement. In my mind, the man was supposed to fight for the woman. He was supposed to show her she was truly something special.
I know my blog is read by mostly women, so let’s flip the script. Maybe sometimes the man needs to be fought for. Maybe he needs to be reassured of who he is. Maybe he needs to be reassured of what his purpose is. Maybe- just maybe, he needs to be reminded of where his passions lie…..
After thinking about and attempting to write this blog for well over a month- I’ve come to this conclusion… there are times that we all need to be fought for. Not fought over or fought with, BUT fought for. To be fought for our very best self- being. We need to be “watered” and “fertilized” when we are wilting because our own self strength just isn’t enough to sustain us any longer…
We need that person or persons to remind us of who we are. And to remind us of what our purpose is. And someone to remind us of where our passions lie. When a wilting plant is met with the exact amount of “fertilizer” and “water” it’s amazing to watch what blooms. ❤️
Be the “water” and the “fertilizer” and Spark a fight for the ones you love! ❤️