I am sure you have heard the phrase, “Loving my Haters, because they are making me famous…”. This is not what I was actually speaking of when I titled this blog. I hope you have on some firm-toed shoes as this blog may step on some toes- mine to be the first ones.
How many times in your life have you ever been hurt by someone you love, someone you like, and then by someone you really don’t care much for?? It’s happened to all of us. We can all name a time in our lives when someone has hurt us either intentionally or unintentionally. Usually the hurts range from a light bruise all the way to a deep cut.
First let’s talk about when someone you love hurts you. We can all attest to the fact that a loved one of some sort has hurt us. Whether it be by their words, actions, or the lack of either or both. Being hurt by someone you love always seems to leave the deepest cuts. We view our loved ones as the those who are supposed to protect us and love us and always act accordingly. But the truth is we are ALL victims of being hurt. BUT even more so- We are guilty of HURTING those we love the most as well.
For instance, how many times have you had a bad day, only to come home and yell at your parent, spouse, or child?? How many times have you had a past experience/hurt bother you to your core, and you couldn’t shake it- therefore it spilled over on your loved ones. Whew, those toes are beginning to feel a little pressure with that one. How many times do we all take out our aggravations of the day on the ones we love most?? The ones who should get the best of us, sometimes only seem to get the “rest” of us and it sure isn’t our best.
Then there is the hurt by people we like. Those are the people who we may be friends with, work with, or just occasionally come in contact with. Sometimes, their actions or words seem to bother us a little more than what they should. We carry that hurt a little different. It doesn’t seem to cut as deep- sometimes no more than a mere bruise so-to-speak- but it is these hurts that cause “our bad days” which then seem to splatter some of it’s remanence on the ones who mean the most to us.
Finally, come the ones who hurt us that we don’t have many feelings for. The ones who proclaim to dislike us and all of our ways. I would like to say that these hurts seem to be the least of our wounds, but they are some of the ones that we seem to carry the longest and have some the biggest effects on us.
First of all, we don’t understand why or how some people could dislike us or even “hate” us. Hate is such a strong word, and my mama taught me not to use that word. She also taught me not to hate others. I may hate their ways and the things that they do, but never to hate them. One of the best lessons of my life. One that I still hold very close to my heart. If God created us all in His image, how could I possibly hate them- or HIM when you put that into perspective???
The hurt caused by the people who don’t like us or care about us is the one that stings the most. Most of the hurt inflicted by those we love or like is usually never intentional. And even if it is, there is a certain amount of love, mercy, and grace that covers those hurts. With these “haters” we know that they don’t love us or even like us for that matter. They could care less if they slander our name, ruin a reputation, or even cause a heart-ache so deep that words couldn’t properly articulate the depths. THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT US, SO WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT THEM???
Good question!! I have watched many people throughout my life spill over a hurt or bleed on someone who was innocent from a wound caused by a totally different person, and had absolutely nothing to do with the person that they were hurting. With the blood dripping from a gaping wound, pouring blood onto someone who didn’t cause the cut…
So it made me think. If when I have a bad day, or if when I am hurting because of something that someone has done or said to me, and I let that affect the way I treat those that I like and those that I love- How does the person who has inflicted such a deep cut in my soul by their actions and words feel? What kind of deep pain are they dealing with that they must bleed on me from a wound I didn’t inflict??
After thinking about this for quite some time now, I slowly began to shift my anger and hurt to compassion and sympathy. I am (still) learning how to try to understand where the root of their pain, or their insecurity, or their jealousy, or their sheer meanness stems from. Because most of time, when someone “hates” you, it’s really just because they have a deep cut from someone they love, loved, like, or now don’t really care for… It may actually have absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s an internal matter, a matter of the heart that they must address before they can heal the wound, and stop the bleeding on people who didn’t cause it.
I say all of that above to say this- how many times have you read the scripture above? Luke 6:27-28 clearly states, “Love your enemies”.Now, just a minute, GOD!! You are wanting me to love the people who HATE me??? The ones who blatantly slander my name and wish me ill will?? Those are the people you are wanting me to “love”? Those, right? Are you sure you don’t want me spending all of my love on those who love me?? As I read that scripture over and over- it didn’t change- it still read the exact same. The words continued to read, “Love your ENEMIES!”
The scripture continues with, “Do good to those who hate you”. So not only do you want me to LOVE these people who curse my very existence- cause I can love them from afar, but now- oh now, you want me to “do good by them”? Okay, God, you are pushing your limits just a little bit. LOL
“Bless those who curse you.” So, let me get this straight. First, you want me to love my enemies, then you want to do good by them, and now you are commanding me to bless them??? WHAT??!!! Wait just one little minute… I know that I love you, God and I am trying on the daily to be more like you, BUT really, are you serious???? YEP!! He’s pretty serious… He even goes further.
“Pray for those who mistreat you.” Now, it’s getting really personal. Now, it’s all in my spiritual realm. Well, guess what?!?! No war that is waged against any of us is of the flesh!!! Let me repeat that, because it took me many years to really let that sink down deep into my soul, No war that is waged against us is of the flesh!!! Every war that we wage is of the spiritual realm. You may see fleshly resemblances because that is what we can see and feel that makes us believe that that is where our war is executed. We are made to believe that when we hurt or when we fight against one another that it is a physical altercation, when really it is a spiritual altercation. And sometimes, just sometimes, it has absolutely, not a cotton-picking thing to do with anyone else other than the devil trying to do what he does best. He is out to kill, steal, and destroy. And if he is not recognized for who he is in these situations, then he gets the best of us.
So when you think of the people who have hurt you in the past, and when you prepare yourself for the moments of hurt that you will encounter in the future- remember this, we have been commanded to love our enemies, to bless those who curse us, do good to those who hate us, and to PRAY for those who persecute us. If you look back over the bible and all the things that Jesus went through to buy our salvation, he had enemies and haters, but HE LOVED them, and HE BLESSED them, and HE done GOOD by them, and HE PRAYED for them. He’s done all of these things by us as well.
Looking back over the course of your life, can you count the number of times that you hurt God? I know I can’t. It’s too many to count. But He never stopped LOVING me, or BLESSING me, or DOING GOOD by me, or PRAYING for me. So, when you think of all the people who have hurt you- the people you love, the people you like, but most of all the people who don’t really care for you- PRAY for them the hardest. Pray that God stirs in their souls and mends the brokenness that no man can fix. Pray that He gives you the love and grace to show to others as He has shown to you. Pray to work in the hearts of all that cross your path that they may know him and witness a miracle healing of a hurt that wouldn’t otherwise heal.
My challenge to you (and to myself?) is to take 3 people who have hurt you beyond your comprehension, and for 30 days- without ceasing- PRAY for them. BLESS them, if it is only through your prayers. LOVE them, even when you can’t figure out how to like them. DO GOOD by them. And at the end of the 30 days, we can all report to as how or what has changed either within them or within us. Sometimes, we just need to find peace with a hurt that we will never get an apology for. But if we can identify it now, right now, before the bleeding gets too bad- maybe, just maybe, we can heal it before it bleeds on to someone who didn’t cause the wound. You see it’s all about breaking the cycle. Let’s start by breaking it today. ❤