In life we all go through seasons. Seasons of valleys and hills, growth and contentment, ups and downs, ins and outs. There are times when we know exactly who we are, what we stand for, and what we want. Then there are times when we lose ourselves in the chaos of life. We forget who we are. We forget what we stand for. We forget what we want. But most importantly we forget how to love ourselves.
It’s been said that the people who are hard to love, need to be loved the hardest. I have found this saying to be more than true. During life’s seasons of downs and outs and valleys and growth, it’s easy to forget all the reasons why I love myself. It’s easy to forget the mountains, and the ups, and the ins, and the contentment. It’s easy to get caught up in all the things I lack. It’s easy to fairly quickly find myself feeling “not enough”. And when I lose loving myself, I lose the gift of accurately loving others.
As many of these seasons vary in length, depth, and severity. Some take longer to wade through, but don’t seem to be very severe or deep- just a long shallow valley. While others take us deeper and seem more severe in a shorter amount of time. No two seasons are ever the same. It’s hard to predict how long, deep, or severe your valley, your out, your down, or your growth will be. As each season has different lessons to be learned.
The greatest gift I have ever been able to give others is the gift of love. Love them through their dark. Love them through their growth. Love them through their down and outs. Most of the time I am able to see through the toughness portrayed by others to know that they are really only searching for love- maybe not necessarily a love by me- but love nonetheless.
But what happens when I get so engrossed in myself that I can’t even see anyone else to recognize the love they need? What happens when my valley is deeper than I expected or my growth has become so overwhelming that I don’t even recognize myself anymore? What about then? How can I love others when I am in a season of down and outs or growth and valleys?? What then?
What then? That’s when God reminds me that I am His. He reminds me that I will always fall short of His glory, because I need Him. That’s when He strategically places people in my life to be there to remind me of His love and His grace and His mercies. And that nothing that I ever will face will be without Him or forsaken. I may not can see it or understand while I’m in it, but it’s all for His glory!!
What then, huh?? THEN, He reminds me!! And on days that I still can’t shake it, He reminds me as my husband reaffirms his love for me- even when I can’t love myself! He reminds me by a prayer that my mama/daddy texts me. He reminds me with a sweet phone call from my sister because she’s noticed I haven’t called her in days. He reminds me as a friend as close as a sister wipes the tears from my face and speaks life over me and into me. He. Reminds. Me.
He reminds me that He made me in His image, and that He made me fearfully and wonderfully. He reminds me that He made me with a purpose and a passion. And that my gift to love others as passionately as I do desire to can only be freely given to them when I love Him first and myself second.
It’s so easy to shift our eyes off of God and His will for us. It’s so easy to get caught up in the fleshy emotions of our valleys and growths and our down and outs, that we honestly fall out of love with God and all of His goodness and fall in love with ourselves and what we think we are capable of. (Whew- that sentence was hard to type…) but it was truthful. When I shift my eyes on myself through the hard times of life, I lose my ability to not just love me, but to love God first and then myself. I believe that self love is important, because without it, we can’t fully love others. BUT we must first love God. We must fall in love with Him and all of His goodness to really be able to love ourselves and then love others.
I have a saying that I speak quite frequently, “you’re only as beautiful as your heart is!” And I truly believe that. When you feed your heart truth and light and all the goodness of God, you’re able to see yourself through His eyes. Therefore, you see His other children through His eyes. You’re able to feel His love and project His love that He has given to you upon others.
Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, fore everything you do flows from it.” I knew the “me” I wanted to be. I had this picture of her on my heart, but I just couldn’t pour her out. I couldn’t pour her out, because although the picture of who I wanted to be was on my heart, it wasn’t in my heart…And that’s where it’s at- in the heart.
The gift of love had been returned to me by those who loved me when I was the hardest to love. By the ones I had pushed away the hardest, because they knew me the best, and I couldn’t hide my flaws and insecurities. But it wasn’t a fast or even an easy process. I had to get alone. I had to get uncomfortable. I had to listen to the truths of God instead of the lies from the enemy. I had to face some hard truths about myself and how I was loving others. I had to. I just had to.
And when I came to the realization that the greatest gift that I can ever give is the gift of love. Sincere love. No strings attached love. Understanding love. But before I could give that love, I had to receive it- I had to receive it from the one who loved me first. The one who loves me more than me. The one who places precious souls in my life to remind me when I forget.
The best thing I’ve ever seen on Pinterest is a pic of the Bible- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8- above it is a post it note with the most compelling challenge. It states “Try to replace the ‘love’ with your name”.
Challenge accepted- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV) Brittany is patient, Brittany is kind. She does not envy, she does not boast, she is not proud. She does not dishonor others, she is not self-seeking, she is not easily angered, she keeps no record of wrongs.
Yep!!! That stings! It stings because during my valleys and growths and down and outs, it should read more like this…
Challenge revised- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV) My tribe is patient. My tribe is kind. They do not envy, they do not boast, they are not proud. They do not dishonor others, they are not self-seeking, they are not easily angered, they keep no record of wrongs.
I know that ultimately God is love and only His name or Love – because He is Love- should be in those verses. But I also believe that He sends us a tribe to love us and remind us of His goodness, grace, and love.
So incredibly thankful for God’s love. So incredibly thankful for the ones He sent to love me. So incredibly thankful for His reminders. He’s a good, good father. ??❤️?❤️